Like so many people, I am sitting here at the end of the year, reflecting.
And honestly, I am a little lost for words.
2025 has been the biggest gift and the hardest lesson of my life so far.
I entered this year without a clear direction, but with something else instead. Faith. Faith in myself and faith that things would turn around, even if I could not yet name how. I believed I was taking the right steps, even though my dreams had not fully shown themselves yet. Somewhere deep down, I knew that this year would take me further than any year before.
And it did. Just not gently.
## Carrying Old Patterns Into a New Year
At the start of 2025, I felt lost. I was studying for my coaching certificates, working full time, navigating my own fitness journey and at the same time facing re emerging struggles with my eating disorder and body dysmorphia. I constantly moved between pride and self doubt.
I spent a lot of time questioning how I see myself, what I want from life and how much of my childhood still shows up in my adulthood. I started to look closely at patterns and asked myself how they are formed and how they can finally be broken.
My head was working overtime.
And this is where sport played a crucial role for me.
## Losing and Finding Movement Again
I have always been a sporty person. Movement was part of my life for a long time.
Then came the years between 2019 and 2023. Years of very little control, unhealthy coping mechanisms and the wrong environment. Sport slowly disappeared from my life.
In 2023, I joined a gym again. Not with a big plan, not with discipline, just trying to regain something I had lost.
Through a strange mix of social media, random decisions and meeting new people, I started running again last year. At first without goals, without pace, without distance. I just ran.
I made a lot of mistakes. I tried everything at once. And I ran straight into an injury.
After weeks of not running, but still being surrounded by running content online, I signed up for a community run. I showed up excited and full of adrenaline, expecting an easy social pace. Instead, it turned into an all out effort and I arrived as the very last person.
Standing there, surrounded by hundreds of people who seemed fitter, faster and effortlessly confident, shook me more than I like to admit. No one talked to me. I could not keep up. I felt invisible.
So I stopped running again. For weeks.
## The Right Environment Changes Everything
But I am not someone who can live without movement for long. So a little later, I joined a workout event with a sports community. And that changed everything.
Being surrounded by people who truly support each other, push each other and welcome new faces without judgement gave me an adrenaline rush I had been missing for years. I was hooked immediately.
From there, everything started unfolding at once.
I fell in love with the feeling you only get from intense workouts and running. I met people who shared my values and lifestyle. People who believed in me and showed it through their actions, not empty words.
I learned to say out loud when I was scared of an exercise. I learned to admit when I was unsure. I learned that my fitness level was good enough as it was and worth being proud of.
I learned that I am not too slow, not too inflexible, not too weak and definitely not „not thin enough“.
And somewhere along the way, without really noticing, I fell in love with running again. This time without pressure, without numbers and without comparison.
## From Personal Struggle to Shared Space
With that joy came a simple thought. I cannot be the only one feeling like this.
Seeing people in other big cities in Germany create spaces for slower runners and beginners planted a seed in my head. I played with the idea for weeks before finally posting a reel asking if anyone wanted to join me for a run.
A few comments turned into messages. Messages turned into a WhatsApp group. And the first run happened.
We were only a handful of people, but something started.
With the help of friends and a lot of thinking, I created an Instagram page and another group. Move and Meet was founded.
What followed happened faster than I ever expected. More and more people joined, all searching for the same thing. A space built on acceptance. A space where no one gets left behind. A space where it does not matter how fast you are, how you look, where you come from or what level you are at.
With every new person, my drive to make Move and Meet more accessible grew. To give people a voice. To create something outside of the pressure of a performance driven society and social media.
## Purpose, Goals and Coming Home to Myself
Through Move and Meet and my new running friendships, goals naturally followed.
Running ten kilometers under an hour. Running a marathon. Running trails. Running races just for fun.
I set goals and I reached them.
It was and still is a process of trial and error. I experimented with fueling and paid for it with some of the worst runs of my life. I used the knowledge from my coaching education to get through an incredibly intense second half of the year without serious injury.
But the biggest change was not physical.
Through running, I slowly fell back in love with myself. I started to hate my body less. I started to accept who I am. I realized that some people will not like me and that others will like me even more because of exactly that.
Helping people who want to start running but are scared or unsure feels like my purpose. Creating spaces where mental and physical struggles do not need to be hidden. Making Berlin’s running and fitness world feel less intimidating and more human.
Giving something back.
## Looking Ahead
I do not yet know exactly how I will fulfill this dream. I have ideas. I have plans. I have curiosity.
What I do know is that, after a turbulent, challenging and beautiful year, I am driving home for Christmas full of gratitude.
And I cannot wait to see what 2026 brings.